Only a few more bends in the river separated Susan from the remote village that was about to become the center of her life. For the last four days, she had waited impatiently on the deck of the Rosa-Bella as the dilapidated little boat slowly wound its way up the muddy Amazon River.
The thumping of the boat’s engines matched the beating of Susan’s heart. Was that what was giving her the sense of belonging in this place? It was a new feeling for her. Susan was fifty-two years old, and had never felt like she belonged anywhere. It was a new and strange sensation, especially since she had never been here before – not on the Amazon River and not even on this continent. In fact, until two months ago, Susan had never even imagined herself visiting in South America. But now, as each liquid brown mile slipped under the boat’s bow, Susan felt more and more like this finally was home.
From the time she was a little girl, Susan had a recurring dream of having a real home. It would be her home, and it would be filled with the laughter and songs of her many children. It would be a happy place, busy with the comings and goings of many friends. Susan knew this was true, and knew that this was what God wanted for her. She had seen it so many times in her dreams, it all felt very, very real to her. But in all her fifty-two years, Susan had never found this place that God had revealed to her.
It was not for the lack of trying that she had not found her dream, because she searched for it constantly. When she went to Central College to study Spanish, she thought that she was about to set up her dream home with a young engineering student named Mitchell. He proposed, she accepted, and they started making wedding plans. But no matter how hard she tried, Susan could never see Mitchell in the home that filled her dreams. So, on graduation day, she left both the college and Mitchell behind her.
Unable to find any employers who needed a Spanish language major, and very depressed over her break-up with Mitchell, Susan went back to school. Determined to study something with a practical application, she took on learning to be a midwife. Graduating with honors, Susan moved to eastern Kentucky and set up shop in the heart of Appalachia.
Depression was no match for the thrill Susan Discovered in helping poor women bring their children into the world. She loved the work and the babies. But then she started having her dream again. She knew it was God’s way of saying to her that she had still not found the place where she belonged. And besides that, she was constantly frustrated by having to send problem pregnancies to a doctor over two hours and three mountains away from the homes of her patients.
So Susan again immersed herself in going to school. This time she studied to become a doctor, a family practitioner. Again, she excelled in her studies and received several offers from prestigious hospitals to join their staffs. Still trying to find her dream, Susan accepted a position at a small, inner-city hospital. She was soon totally immersed in working with the dregs of the inner-city. It seemed like every down-and-out, impoverished, drug-addicted, needy person in the city found their way to Susan’s door, and she did not mind a bit. In fact, she liked trying to help those who needed help the most. What she did not like was all the paperwork required by the insurance companies, and the many government agencies that also worked with her patients.
Then Susan met Sean. He was divorced and had an eight-year old son, and Susan loved them both. She tried desperately to force them into her dream, but never managed to see either of them in the future home that God had promised her.
When a huge conglomerate bought the hospital where she worked, Susan used this as an opportunity to leave her medical practice and a second proposal of marriage. She was still crazy about Sean and his son, but she could not deny it any longer. They were not part of what God had in store for her. She still had not found the place where she belonged in this world.
Deciding that she was getting too old to wait any longer, Susan decided to go face to face with God to learn just where she did belong. God had given her a dream, a vision of what was to be – a home, many children, a place of belonging. But she was already feeling the first flashes of menopause, and not only did she not have any children, she did not even have a home. God just had to tell her where she was to find this dream she had been given. So Susan went to the school where people learn about God – seminary.
She applied herself to her theological studies with the same enthusiasm as she had always shown for school work. She began to feel a sense of being called, to what she was not sure. Thinking that maybe God wanted her to be a pastor, Susan applied for a position in a church. She was assigned as a student pastor to a small congregation not too far from the seminary, but she did not last long there. The last straw for her came at a three-hour meeting where the church officers argued long and hot over what color the new carpet should be. Convinced that these people would always be petty and small and never willing to grow spiritually to mature in their faith, Susan resigned her position.
In the last year of seminary, Susan heard about the need for a medical missionary in South America. She applied, and was accepted.
Now, only one more bend in the river separated her from this new position. The dilapidated little boat that carried her forward was stacked high with the supplies that Susan would need to set up the first hospital ever in this area. She also brought supplies for the little church established by the previous missionaries to the Amazon tribe that populated this area. Susan’s job was to relieve the current missionary, who was returning to the states to retire. She would be this village’s pastor, and she would set up the hospital, serve as both its administrator and only doctor.
As soon as she had accepted this position, money began pouring in to her from churches all across the United States. It was like God had started working overtime to raise the money to buy all the supplies that Susan would need. Churches and people she had never met, sent checks in the mail. Some were contributors of five or ten dollars with short notes of encouragement. Some were from children, some from elderly people, others were from women’s groups or men’s groups. One check for ten thousand dollars was the entire year’s mission budget for a rural church with just thirty-five members.
Susan was humbled by the generosity of her fellow Christians. She was also reassured that not all congregations were as petty and small as the one she had pastored. These were people of faith being faithful to God. They gave their money, prayers, support and encouragement freely and enthusiastically. They trusted God, and now they were trusting Susan.
Their trust was piled in boxes and bags all over the deck of the Rosa-Bella, and more waited several hundred miles downriver. The ancient Rosa-Bella would have to make four more trips in the next three months to bring all the supplies up-river. Two nurses would also be traveling up-river to join the work at the village that was now coming into view.
Susan could hear the laughter of the children who had heard the loud thumping of the Rosa-Bella’s engine. They seemed to be running from everywhere to gather at the wooden dock that jutted out into the river. They laughed, and pointed, and talked excitedly with each other. Adults were starting to join them too. In fact, it seemed that the whole village was assembling at the dock to greet the Rosa-Bella, and the very important person it was bringing with them.
One elderly man stood a good foot taller than the others. As he stood at the dock waving his hat, Susan knew without asking that this was the man she was replacing. And, sure enough, he stepped out of the crowd to help Susan down the Rosa-Bella’s ramp.
“Welcome, welcome,” he said through a huge smile that matched the smiles of the hundreds who had now gathered at the dock. Then he began introducing to her all those pressing in on them from every direction. Adults eagerly shot out their right hands to offer an American greeting, but the children skipped this formality and just hugged her from every direction. Susan was literally wrapped in hugs as her missionary predecessor led her into the village.
“There’s the church,” he said as he pointed to a building off to their left. And pointing in the other direction, he said, “And you can see that the construction on the hospital is not yet completed, but we are making very good progress on it. Don’t worry, though. You can start work right away, because we have another place you can use until the hospital is finished. Then he led her to a house located between the church and the hospital. “And here is your home,” he said.
Singing greeted Susan as she stepped inside. Smiling people packed the interior from wall to wall. Susan began crying uncontrollably as the crowd outside joined in the songs of welcoming.
She had stepped off the boat, and into her dream. This was it. This is what her whole life had been about. The Spanish language studies, the midwife studies, the studies to become a medical doctor and a pastor. It all came together here in this remote village on the Amazon River.
“I hope you like children,” her elderly host said to her through the singing. “There are more than nine hundred here in this village, and thousands more in the other villages on up the river. The first missionary in here was a Catholic priest, and so they all call me ‘Father.’ When they heard my replacement was a woman, they asked what they should call you. I suggested, ‘Mother.’ Hope you don’t mind.”
“I can’t think of any greater honor than to have them call me ‘Mother,’” Susan answered through her tears. This too was part of the dream God had given her, being mother to many children. And her home was already full of their laughter and singing. And, being placed between the church and the hospital, Susan’s home would always be busy with the comings and goings of many friends, just as God had promised.
This was it. She had finally found the place that God had always intended for her. This was the place where she belonged.
One of the tribal leaders stepped up to Susan. He spoke very carefully and deliberately in English, “We’ve been waiting a long time for God to bring you to us.”
“I know, Susan responded. “I’ve been waiting fifty-two years to get here, and I am so glad that God has finally brought me to my home with you.” Then she reached out and grabbed an armful of laughing, singing children. “You can call me, ‘Mother,’ she said as she looked into their beaming faces. And so they did, for the rest of her life on earth.
Questions for Meditation, Discussion or Preaching
Copyright 2020. Robert D. Ingram, 32746 Jourden Rd., Albany, Ohio 45710 (dr.bobingram@gmail.com). Used by permission.
