Half way through the late show Carey thought she heard someone knocking at her door. She picked up the TV remote, muted the sound, and listened. There it was again. Someone really was knocking at her door, but it was very late. No one ever came to Carey’s door that late – unless it was an emergency.
She slipped her feet into her slippers, pulled her robe tight around her, and started for the door. “Just a minute,” she called out.
As soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t. Now whoever was at the door knew she was home. “Oh well, they probably heard the TV anyway,” she thought to herself.
But should she be opening the door to her apartment at this time of night? The chain was on the door, but she had little confidence in it keeping someone out. So Carey just put her eye up to the peephole.
Through the peephole, Carey could see a young woman wearing a fringed blue jean jacket, a bright red blouse showing a lot of cleavage, a short black leather skirt, and black high heals with straps that wrapped around her legs from her ankles to her knees. “May I help you?” Carey said, as she wondered if there were other people in the hallway that she could not see.
“Hey, Carey! It’s me – Blaze!” the young woman answered. “Long time, no see!”
“Do I know you?” Carey asked.
“Carey, don’t you recognize your own cousin?” The woman paused for an answer, but since none came she continued, “You know – Blazing Morning Nickels! I used to be Masterson. It’s Nickels now, ever since I married that no-count worthless bum, but that’s a story for another time. Come on, Carey. Aren’t you going to let your own flesh and blood cousin in?”
Carey did remember having a cousin named Blaze Masterson, but she hadn’t seen her since they were small children. Carey wondered if this woman really was her cousin.
“Is there anyone else with you?” Carey asked through the door.
“Anyone else? What, you think I’m hiding someone in my pocket?” Blaze answered. “Come on, Carey. I need a place to crash for a little while. I just got out of jail, and I haven’t slept in a bed for three days. I’m really tired, Carey. Please. I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I swear.”
Against her better judgment, Carey slipped the chain out of its lock and opened the door.
“Thanks, Carey,” Blaze gushed as she stepped inside. “You’re a lifesaver. You really are. Wow!” Blaze said as she looked around at Carey’s flat. “Do you live here, or did I just step into a magazine ad?”
“What do you mean?” Carey said a little defensively.
“What do I mean? Look at this place,” Blaze said as she threw herself down on Carey’s couch. “I’ve never seen anyplace so neat and clean. Heck, even that compulsive freak Warden Schmidt couldn’t achieve this much neat and clean – not even when the governor came to visit the prison.”
“I live alone,” Carey insisted. “It’s not hard to keep things clean when you are the only one living there. And this is a small place, which makes it even easier.”
“Hey, do you have anything to eat? I’ve only scored two meals since I got out, and my belly button’s been kissing my backbone all day.” Then Blaze lifted her bright red blouse as if to prove to Carey that her belly button really was kissing her backbone.
Carey looked at Blaze’s belly button before she realized what she was doing. Then catching herself, she hurried into the kitchen.
“I have some spaghetti sauce left over from supper. It would be quick and easy to cook some spaghetti for you. Would you like that?” Carey asked.
“Cousin, I could eat anything that doesn’t get up and gallop away,” Blaze answered as she began untying the straps of her shoes that wrapped around her legs.
As Carey heated water for the spaghetti, she noticed that although Blaze had removed her shoes, there were still lines on Blaze’s legs. The lines made it look as if the straps from her shoes were still wrapped around her legs. Carey hoped they were tan lines, but decided it would be wise to guard against the other possibility.
“Supper will take a few minutes,” Carey offered. “If you would like to freshen up there’s a shower in the bathroom.”
“Starting to make your nose-hairs curl up am I?” Blaze asked as she jammed her nose into her armpit. “Whew!” she shouted as she jerked her head erect again. “I think I went from being ripe to having a major meltdown! Skip the shower. Where’s the fire hose?”
“Fire hose?” Carey asked.
“Just kidding,” Blazed answered. “Which way is the shower?”
Carey led the way to her bathroom, and laid out some fresh towels for her cousin.
An hour and seventeen minutes later, Blaze emerged wearing pajamas with a strawberry print. Carey had laid them out for her. “Wow! What a change!” Blaze volunteered. “I went from smelling like New York’s Fresh Kills Landfill to smelling like a big ripe strawberry! Strawberry shampoo, strawberry conditioner, strawberry cleansing lotion, strawberry body wash, strawberry lotion, strawberry after bath powder, annnnnd… strawberry pajamas!” Blaze announced as she danced around in a little circle modeling the PJs Carey had laid out for her.
Carey blushed as she said, “I guess I probably have overdone the strawberries a bit.”
“So what’s for supper?” Blaze asked. “Don’t tell me. It’s strawberries and spaghetti!”
Trying to change the subject, Carey asked, “What would you like to drink? I set out a soothing herbal tea of my own mixture, and a glass of iced spring water.”
“How about a beer, or a gallon of cheap wine?” Blaze shot back at her.
“I’m afraid I don’t drink,” Carey answered, “so I don’t have either of those. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, lighten up, cousin. You don’t have to apologize to me. Tea, water or whatever. It’ll all wash down the grub! Right?”
“I suppose so,” Carey answered.
Carey hurried into the kitchen to dish up supper for her cousin. Soon, she returned with a steaming plate of spaghetti, smothered in her special zucchini and mushroom sauce, and a salad of fresh tossed greens, scallions and tomatoes sprinkled with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. A basket of hot garlic toast was already on the table.
“I hope you like spaghetti,” she said as she placed the food in front of her cousin.
Blaze never answered, but just dove into the food like a ravenous animal. Carey had made two more trips to the kitchen for more spaghetti, before Blaze took time out to speak again.
“I can’t believe you cook like this, and you’re still not married! Believe me, if I was a man, I’d be down on my knees begging you to marry me, just so I could eat your cooking! Of course I’d weigh five hundred pounds in no time, but it would be worth it to eat like this!
Carey hid her face as she blushed yet again. She couldn’t believe she was blushing again.
“How long will you be staying?” she asked to move the conversation to something less likely to cause more blushing. Besides, this was the question she had wanted to ask as soon as she had opened the door to this very troubling woman.
Blaze looked up from the apple crumb dessert that she was somehow finding room for, and said, “I just got here. Are you already trying to get rid of me?” Then returning to devouring her dessert she continued, “Ahh, don’t bother answering that. I know I’m a big fat pain in the anatomy. Everybody’s always trying to get me to go away and leave them alone. Even in prison nobody wanted me for a cell-mate. Don’t worry, cousin, I’ll leave in the morning.”
Now Carey wished she had not asked the question. She blushed more than ever, as she realized the insufficiency of her Christian charity. She was ashamed of her behavior. Christ would expect more of his disciples. So, to make up for her failure, Carey decided to make a sacrifice.
“While you finish your dessert, I’ll change the sheets on my bed. You can sleep there tonight.”
“Whoa! No way! I’m not going to toss you out of your bed. I’ll just crash on your couch. That’s still a big improvement over the alley I slept in last night.”
“Sorry,” Carey answered. “The couch is already taken.”
“Hey, no big deal. I didn’t know you had anybody else coming to sleep here. The floor is fine with me.”
“No, you will sleep in the bed,” Carey insisted. “I will sleep on the couch, and I don’t want to hear anything more about it.”
Blaze stood up and saluted her cousin. “Yes sir, Sergeant Major!”
Carey turned to hurry away into the bedroom in an effort to hide yet another blush. She could not believe how bossy she was being with her houseguest. Christ would not be at all pleased with her. She had even turned her sacrifice into an excuse to give her cousin orders.
Carey slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning in her bed. Her mind raced back and forth between two poles. She really did want Blaze to leave, but wouldn’t Christ want Carey to show hospitality. Blaze was her cousin. Shouldn’t she help her cousin? But why wouldn’t Blaze’s family help her? What did they know about Blaze that Carey did not know? Carey was not at all comfortable around Blaze. Who knew whether Blaze wouldn’t quietly sneak over to the apartment door, and open it to someone even more dangerous? But if Carey was obeying Christ, wouldn’t Christ protect her? And yet Christ did not even protect himself. He sacrificed himself for others. Would he let her be sacrificed too? Would she be martyred in her own apartment? Would the church lift her up as a martyred example for their children to honor and to imitate? But she was so young. Couldn’t Christ wait until she was older to honor her with martyrdom?
With continuing thoughts of sacrifice and martyrdom, night passed very slowly. Carey got up before her alarm sounded. Getting into her morning routine felt reassuring and comfortable, especially since it was Sunday and she was getting ready to go to church. She wondered if she should ask Blaze to go to church with her.
“What would Jesus do?” Carey wondered out loud. “Hmmph. That’s easy. Jesus wouldn’t hesitate.”
So Carey turned on her heals and knocked quietly on the bedroom door. There was no answer.
“Blaze, I’m getting ready to go to church. Would you like to go with me?”
Still no answer. So she opened the door a crack, and repeated her question.
“Blaze, I’m getting ready to go to church. Would you like to go with me?”
Not a peep, not a sound came from the room. Carey began to wonder if her cousin had already left. She opened the door to look in. Blaze was not in the bed.
“Blaze?” Carey repeated as she began looking all around the room. “Blaze?” Still, no answer came and Blaze was nowhere to be seen.
A huge sigh of relief slipped across Carey’s lips as she realized that her cousin must have already left. Carey relaxed immediately, and even began humming as she went to the closet to pick out something nice to wear to church.
As Carey began sorting through her clothes, a movement at the bottom of her closet made her jump back and scream.
“Geez, Carey, you don’t have to scream at me. I’ll get up.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were still here. You frightened me.”
“What frightened you,” Blaze asked, “the way I look in the morning or realizing that I was still here?”
“I didn’t expect to find you sleeping in the closet,” Carey answered. “Why did sleep in here instead of on the bed?”
“There was so much room in your bed, and it was so open and everything that I couldn’t sleep,” Blaze answered. “The closet just felt safer. Of course the bed didn’t have as many pairs of shoes poking into my back. But hey, at least all the depressions in my back are in perfectly straight lines and every depression is in pairs. Does everybody in your family keep their shoes so neat and in perfect lines?”
Carey decided to ignore Blaze’s question and ask her own. “I’m getting ready to go to church. Would you like to come with me?”
“Church? I haven’t been to church since I was a little kid,” Blaze said. “I thought you just wanted to get rid of me.”
Blaze was right. Carey really did want Blaze to leave, but she also wanted to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. So she said, “I took the liberty of washing your clothes last night, after you went to bed. Everything is clean, except your skirt. I don’t own anything leather. I suppose that has to be dry-cleaned, doesn’t it?”
“You’ll have to ask my cleaning lady about that,” Blaze retorted.
“Your cleaning lady?” Carey asked.
“Joking! I’m just joking. Girl, you’re way too serious,” Blaze said.
Carey found herself blushing once again. Frustrated with herself, she went to get Blaze’s clothes.
When she returned, clothes in hand, Carey asked Blaze again, “Do you want to go to church with me this morning?”
“Do you get extra points? You ought to get a lot of points for bringing in a sinner like me.”
“Yes. In fact, if I bring in just one more sinner, I’ll have enough points to trade in for a gold watch,” Carey responded.
“You’re kidding. You get a gold watch for bringing people to church?” Blaze asked.
“Joking! I’m just joking,” Carey said with a big smile on her face.
Blaze’s face lit up in a beautiful smile of her own. “Way to go, girl. You’re catching on.”
Still smiling, Blaze took the clothes from Carey. As she turned to go into the bathroom, she shook her head. “I can’t believe I fell for that,” she muttered to herself. Then she called back over her shoulder, “Yes, I’ll go to church with you so you can earn your gold watch.”
Carey was finished dressing when Blaze emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing her red blouse and the fringed jean jacket, but instead of her short black leather skirt, Blaze was still wearing the strawberry pajama bottoms.
“Do you like it?” Blaze asked. “My red top matches your strawberry PJs perfectly!”
“You’re going to wear pajamas to church?” Carey asked.
“I had the maid take my skirt to the cleaners. It was way too stinky for going to meet God,” Blaze answered.
“But they’re pajamas,” Carey insisted.
“I won’t tell if you won’t tell,” Blaze stated matter-of-factly. “Hey,” she continued, “What kind of church is this? Do they do pew dancing? I’ve always wanted to see pew dancing.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, Blaze. I’m afraid that a burnt casserole at one of our potlucks is about as wild as we get.”
“No snake handling either?”
“No snakes. No wild animals. Just sinners in strawberry pajama bottoms,” Carey said with a smile.
“Doesn’t sound too scary,” Blaze said. “Let’s go meet God!”
An elderly couple welcomed Blaze and Carey when they arrived at the church. As they moved inside, Carey whispered to Blaze that the couple had both been widowed and had just started dating each other. “Everybody is very excited for them,” Carey explained. “They were both so lonely, and they make such a sweet couple. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Blaze agreed. She looked back at them, and saw the couple sneaking a kiss.”
Several of Carey’s friends came over to greet Carey and her guest. They introduced themselves to Blaze, and led she and Carey to the area where they were sitting together. A young woman in the pew ahead of them, turned around and introduced herself and all six of her children.
The woman’s six-year old daughter pointed at the pajama bottoms Blaze was wearing, and said, “You’re pants are pretty. I like strawberries.”
“You know,” Blaze answered, “I’m learning that a lot of people like strawberries. In fact, these are so pretty that they make me want to eat them.”
“You can’t eat those,” the little girl answered. “They’re pants, not real strawberries.”
“I don’t know,” Blaze said, “They look pretty tasty.” Then she bent over and took her pant’s leg into her mouth, pretending to eat one of the strawberries. Then, licking her lips, Blaze looked back up at the little girl. “They taste pretty good. Want one?”
The little girl giggled, and said, “You’re silly.” Then she turned to her mother, and said, “I like her.”
Blaze didn’t know what to do. In all her life, no one had ever said they liked her. As the service started, Blaze sat quietly thinking about the little girl who had said she liked her.
It was somewhere in the middle of the pastor’s sermon that Blaze had sat quietly too long. She had no idea what the pastor was preaching about, except that it was something about the Son of God leaving his place in heaven and coming down to earth to live among people.
“That’s just crazy!” Blaze shouted out as she stood up.
The pastor stopped preaching. The congregation sat in stunned silence. Carey slid down in the pew.
“From what I hear, heaven is supposed to be a really plush place, where everyone is nice and happy. So, why would anyone leave there to come down here and live in this mess? That’s crazy! And you people must be crazy to believe it! In fact, you are crazy. Look at this lady here.”
Blaze pointed to the young mother sitting in front of her.
“Who in their right mind would bring six kids into this ugly, mean world? And you,” Blaze said as she pointed to the elderly couple who had greeted them at the door. “Look at you. Acting like a couple of love-struck teenagers! Are you crazy? You must be eighty or ninety years old! And this little girl here,” she pointed at the girl sitting with the mother of six, “you know she’s crazy because I heard her tell her mother that she like me. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard! I work hard at making myself obnoxious and repulsive. No one likes me, at least not until I met up with this crazy little girl.”
“And you know what is the craziest thing of all,” Blaze continued. “I should be dead now. That’s right, cousin. There’s a razor blade sticking in the door frame of your apartment. After I got your attention by knocking on your door, I was going to slit my wrists and bleed to death right there in front of you! I figured you would tell my family, and I wanted them to know what a stupid, ugly death I died. I figured that was about the meanest thing I could do back to them for all the mean things they had done to me.”
Blaze put her hand on Carey’s shoulder, and her voice softened. “But you opened your door and let me in. That’s crazy. Who in their right mind would open their door to a stranger at that time of night? You didn’t know me. Heck, there could have been a tribe of cannibals telling you that they were your cousins, and you would have opened your door to them too. You would have, wouldn’t you?”
Carey laughed as she nodded agreement.
“You’re crazy,” Blaze told her cousin, “just like all the rest of these people. And just like that Jesus guy who left heaven to come live in this crazy world. You’re all crazy!” Blaze said as she looked around at the congregation. “You’re all crazy, and I like it! I’m crazy too, and if you think you are crazy enough to let me, I’d like to come to church with you crazy people on a regular basis!”
The elderly couple started it, but then the whole congregation burst into applause. The pastor never finished his sermon that day. He never felt he needed to. Watching two cousins hug each other and cry was enough sermon for a bunch of crazy people.
Questions for Meditation, Discussion or Preaching
Copyright 2020. Robert D. Ingram, 32746 Jourden Rd., Albany, Ohio 45710 (dr.bobingram@gmail.com). Used by permission.
