"George W. Bush is the great red dragon I tell you!" Billie Joe insisted shrilly. "Revelation chapter 12 verse 3 says it plain as day! Any fool can see it! Surely you understand it, don't you?"
But the other members of the Disciple-Makers Sunday school class did not see it, and they certainly did not understand anything that Billie Joe said. They had not understood a word Billie Joe had said since the first time he attended the class. In fact, the only thing they did understand was that Billie Joe had taken the fun out of Sunday school for all of them.
Three months ago, Billie Joe had decided that that he had too much religion for the Independent Bible Baptist Church at the other end of town. And, since the only church in town that Billie Joe had not attended at that point was Riverview United Methodist, he decided to grace them with his presence. At least that is how Evelyn and Betsy Minor explained it to anyone who would listen.
They had started complaining to Moze Edwards, their Sunday school teacher, after Billie Joe's second Sunday in the class. "Who is teaching this class" they demanded, "you or Billie Joe? Frankly, we do not want to hear any more of his ramblings about millennial end-times prophecies. He may be able to quote every verse in Daniel and Revelation, but he does not know anything about anything we want to hear."
After Billie Joe's fourth Sunday with the class, the Minor sisters began carrying their complaints to Pastor Jack. "You're the minister," they insisted. "Do something!"
And it was not just the Minor sisters who were complaining. Everyone was talking about it, even people who were not in the Disciple-Makers Sunday school class. Poor Moze Edwards was tired of having to deal with Billie Joe every Sunday, so he went in and told Pastor Jack that he wanted to resign as the class' teacher. It had taken Pastor Jack two hours of very persuasive talking to get Moze to hang on a little longer. "I'll figure something out," the pastor promised.
Then last Sunday, Billie Joe, had the audacity to stand up in the middle of Pastor Jack's sermon and correct what he was preaching. And if that was not bad enough, Billie Joe went on for fourteen and a half minutes ranting and raving about how people had better get ready to battle against the beast with the mortal wound that would rise out of the earth at midnight on December 31st. (Everyone knows it was fourteen and a half minutes, because Evelyn Minor had timed him with her watch.) It was just shocking, and even Pastor Jack was upset.
The very next day Pastor Jack called on Billie Joe, and they talked and argued, and talked and argued for more than five hours. The neighbors said that when Pastor Jack came out of Billie Joe's house his face was as red as a fire engine. Pastor Jack went straight home, and did not come out of his house for the next three days. He did not go to the church. He did not visit anyone. He would not answer the phone. He did not even go out of the house to get his mail and his newspaper.
Now, once again, Billie Joe was sitting in the Disciple-Makers Sunday school class quoting the book of Revelation. He sat all alone. Everyone else sat on the other side of the room, facing Billie Joe, including Pastor Jack and Moze Edwards.
"It's right there in Revelation 12:3," Billie Joe insisted. "George W. Bush is the great red dragon. The seven heads are the seven leaders of Canada, Mexico, Britain, Russia, Japan, Germany and China. They are all working with George W. Bush to destroy the world. The ten horns are the ten programs that Bush keeps trying to force on the American people. You all know what they are, because I listed them for you last Sunday. Now if you want to know who the seven diadems are, I'll tell you. They are the seven women that have had adulterous affairs with George W. Bush. I know that the media has never named them, but that is because they are working with the President to keep you from finding out who they are. They know that there are Christian assassins assigned to take them out as soon as they learn all seven names. These diadem-mistresses are part of Bush's power, and if we can take them out, we can take away some of his power before he begins to battle Michael and his angels."
"Billie Joe," Pastor Jack interrupted, "I need to say something before you say any more."
But Billie Joe was on a roll, and did not even hear Pastor Jack's interruption. "Now the Great Whore, you may think is Laura Bush," he continued, "but it's not. It's Hollywood. They have prostituted themselves in every imaginable way in order to get higher and higher ratings, which means more and more money."
"Billie Joe, will you please shut up!" Pastor Jack shouted.
Billie Joe looked up surprised.
"We are not talking about the red dragon, the beast with the mortal wound, George W. Bush, Hollywood, or any of the other fantasies that you keep ranting about. Enough is enough! I've prayed all week about what I can do to get you to stop talking about that stuff. Believe me, I have never prayed so hard in all my life. And now I believe that I have to do something that I have never done in all my years of ministry. Billie Joe, I am asking you to leave."
Billie Joe looked shocked. He looked around at the other class members, but he found no friends there to stand with him against Pastor Jack.
"Billie Joe," the pastor continued, "I am asking you to leave, and to never again return to Riverview United Methodist Church. I am sure that you can find another church more to your liking, and more interested in what you have to say. I know that this is very hurtful to you, and I will be praying for…"
But before Pastor Jack could get out another word, Billie Joe stood up with his Bible in his hand. "May God have mercy on you all," he said defiantly. "The fifth angel is already on his way to mark the servants of God on their foreheads, Revelation 7:3. After that, there is nothing else you can do." Then, with teary eyes, Billie Joe turned and walked out of the classroom and out of the church.
Evelyn and Betsy both began congratulating their pastor, "Well, it's about time! You did the right thing, Pastor. If he hadn't left, the rest of us would have."
"Excuse me, ladies, if I don't join in your celebrating," Pastor Jack said. "I have just done a horrible thing to one of God's children, and I need to go now and beg God's forgiveness." With those words, he too stood up and also left the room.
The Disciple-Makers spent the rest of the hour discussing how relieved they all were that Billie Joe was gone, all except Moze Edwards. He sat there quietly thinking about the pastor's words about needing forgiveness.
The following Friday, Moze Edwards was driving to work, and still thinking about Pastor Jack's words. "Pastor Jack wasn't the only one who needed God's forgiveness," he thought to himself. "We all are guilty of forcing Billie Joe out of our church and out of our lives. And even though he was driving us all crazy, he is still a child of God."
Just then, Moze slammed on his brakes. He had not seen the flashing red light until he was right on top of it. But he had managed to bring his car to a stop just before it entered the intersection.
He looked around. There had never before been a stop light at this intersection. "I've got to pay more attention to my driving," he reminded himself. Then he noticed where he had stopped. It was right in front of Billie Joe's house.
Moze looked at his watch. It was 7:45 in the morning and he had to go to work, but Moze Edwards found himself pulling his car over to the curb. He got out of the car, and walked toward Billie Joe's house.
"What am I doing?" he muttered to himself as he rang the doorbell.
Seconds passed, but it seemed like hours. Moze was about to turn and get back into his car, when the door opened. There was Billie Joe, dressed in camouflage from head to foot.
"Well, praise God," Billie Joe said with a big smile. "You know don't you?"
"Know what?" Moze said.
"You know that today's the day," Billie Joe answered.
"Today's the day for what? Moze questioned.
"Don't play dumb with me," Billie Joe said. "Come on in, and see what I have ready."
Against his better judgement Moze followed Billie Joe into the house.
"I am so glad that God sent you to help me with this," Billie Joe said to Moze as he went down the stairs to the basement. "I was kind of afraid of having to do it all by myself. I was going to do it, though. Nothing could stop me. It has to be done, but at least now I don't have to do it by myself."
As he followed down the stairs, Moze couldn't believe his eyes. The basement was full of weapons of all kinds: assault rifles, shotguns, pistols, hand grenades, knives, and even something that looked like some kind of rocket and rocket launcher.
"What is all this stuff?" Moze asked.
"This is everything that we will need for the attack, Billie Joe answered. I've got it all. I couldn't let anything go wrong. We have to get their attention, before the Lamb opens the seventh seal. I hate to do it, but it is better that a few die so that everyone else can be saved."
"Die?" Moze interrupted. "Who's going to die?"
"Come over here," Billie Joe answered. "It's all here on the map."
Moze looked at the map that Billie Joe was holding up. It was a map of their town, Riverview. Six red circles were draw on it.
"We only need to hit six targets," Billie Joe began to explain, "God is doing the seventh personally. Even I don't know where it will be."
Moze couldn't believe his eyes. Billie Joe was planning to go on a shooting spree in their hometown! People were going to die today. He had to do something. He had to stop Billie Joe. And he knew that the only way to stop this madness, was by doing what no one else was willing to do -- become a friend to Billie Joe. Someone had to listen to him. Someone had to actually try to hear what he was saying, and not just the crazy stuff about the end-times and prophecies. Someone had to hear the hurt and loneliness and confusion that was driving Billie Joe to this desperate act. And Moze Edwards was the someone that God had selected.
So, for the rest of the day, Moze and Billie Joe talked together, and prayed together, and read the Bible together. They drank several pots of coffee together. They ate military MRE's (meals ready to eat) together. And they kept talking together all through the day, through the night, and into the next day.
Moze became Billie Joe's friend -- his first friend. And after a prayer that seemed to go on for hours, with both of them taking turns praying out loud, Moze managed to get Billie Joe to agree to try another way to get the world's attention.
It was not going to be easy to be Billie Joe's friend. Moze knew that. But he also knew that God had put up that new stoplight in order to get him to stop at Billie Joe's house. And God had led him into that house, and Moze knew God had pulled off a miracle when he and Billie Joe together called the police to turn in all the weapons that Billie Joe had accumulated.
No, it was not going to be easy to be Billie Joe's friend, but God had a plan. And Moze knew he was part of it. Somehow, God would make it all possible.
Questions for Meditation, Discussion or Preaching
Copyright 2020. Robert D. Ingram, 32746 Jourden Rd., Albany, Ohio 45710 (dr.bobingram@gmail.com). Used by permission.
